reactions

over the weekend a couple weeks ago, M got a new wireless router. instead of first noticing that he was trying to do something nice, i noticed that more money was spent than we have.
..i reacted harshly.

we went apple picking--fresh apples off the tree. beautiful day. random activity. a lovely way to spend a sunday.
..i reacted positively.

someone said "i wasn't sure it would get done", after me saying i would do it.
..i reacted negatively.

stupid wisdom. who needs it anyway? ...i wasn't sure i reacted well to the surgery, but everyone tells me it was ok. either they're nice, or i was tolerable.

last week i made a concerted effort to react positively to good things, and try to let the negatives pass. i didn't have the energy to pick fights. even when i did have the energy, thought it would be a good time to try to appreciate the good stuff. so far i've been reacting better. it makes him happier, which makes me happier... not focusing on negatives. doesn't mean shove other stuff under the rug, just handle it differently.

being better doesn't have to be a negative uphill battle.

mantras

be deliberate

i don't care what game we play, as long as we all play by the same rules

try harder tomorrow